Rebecca Hussein

Shit that I hear on E! News

E! News is Emazing

E! News has an exclamation mark at the end because it is important to shout the “E!” when saying things like, “I love E! News,” or… “I love E! News.” That’s also why it’s a capital “E!” and not a lower case “e!”. I don’t know what the “E!” stands for, but if I had to guess, I’d say…excellent. Excellent news. Top notch. I enjoy E! News because it has many colours. I also like it because the people on E! News are so beautiful but sometimes they say confusing things and then I have to send them an E! Mail and ask them about why they said these confusing things.

Giuliana and blonde lady discuss Cameron Diaz.
Giuliana: “She’s such a girl’s girl-”
Blonde lady: “-Isn’t she so fantastic?”
Giuliana: “I mean we know she’s a guy’s girl ‘cos every guy loves her, she’s so, y’know-
Blonde lady: -“She’s gorgeous!”
Giuliana: “But she’s a girl’s girl.”
Blonde lady: “She’s a girl’s girl!”

Dear Giuliana, I’m confused. Is Cameron Diaz a girl’s girl or a guy’s girl? Which gender does she belong to specifically? The thing is, first you say she’s a girl’s girl, then that flipping blonde woman keeps interrupting you, preventing any further elaboration on your insightful analysis, and then you come out and say she’s a guy’s girl???! I think that lady’s constant talking over you confused you and that’s why you contradicted yourself by first saying she was a girl’s girl and then saying she’s a guy’s girl. It happens to all of us. Anyway it seems like in the end you both agree that she’s girl’s girl but that leads me to more questions like what is a girl’s girl and what is a guy’s girl? Please get back to me soon. Best wishes, Rebecca Hussein (girl’s girl/ guy’s girl)

Terence: “Coming up, Jessica Simpson’s adorable kids and Demi Lovato’s onset scare.”
Giuliana: “The new pictures you gotta see.”

Dear Giuliana, I’m confused. Do I gotta see the new pictures? I mean, because I was going to go out but, y’know, if I gotta see them… The thing is Giuliana, I was actually going to switch the TV off because the adverts are actually kind of annoying and they come on about every 30 seconds and right before you said that I gotta see those pictures, I actually said to myself, “Dear God if they cut to another advert break now I’m going to throw this television set out of the window, wipe my nose of the bits of brain that have dribbled out of there since I turned this channel on and move on with my life.” But then you said I gotta see those pictures so…guess I better see them. Best wishes, Rebecca Hussein

Voiceover : “The big stories you need”
Giuliana: “Kim and Kanye are engaged!”

Dear Giuliana,
I’m confused. Did I really need this story? In what context do I need it? Do I need it to survive or do I need it for self improvement purposes, like do I need it to help me become a better person? Or maybe I need to know this story because I’m invited to Kim and Kanye’s wedding? Shit Giuliana, am I invited to Kim and Kanye’s wedding? ?! I mean, I appreciate the thought but I don’t even know those guys, wouldn’t it be a little awkward? What do you think I should do Giuliana, should I politely decline? Or maybe I should go? I do keep up with the Kardashians, so it’s not really like I don’t know them? Please let me know what you advise. Best wishes, Rebecca Hussein

Anyway, I hear a lot of confusing things on E! News so I’ll keep you updated.


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This entry was posted on January 31, 2014 by .
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